Landscape photography has been much more than a hobby for me for many years. Because of my health, photography had already become far less straightforward than it once was. That is exactly why every time I managed to get out with my camera felt like a small victory.
The fractured vertebra that came later was another setback. It pushed me backwards once again, and I have now spent months without visiting photography locations. Moments like that make me realise just how much being outdoors with a camera means to me mentally.
Over the past months, I have not been able to get out very often. Not because I didn’t want to, but because physically it was not possible. Those are the moments when you realise how small your world can become. You spend more time at home, depend on what your health allows and constantly weigh up what is and is not possible.
Meanwhile, my mind keeps moving. New locations, new ideas and images I would still love to create. Sometimes it feels as though I could spend years working through all the ideas in my head.
That is exactly why it can be so difficult when your body cannot keep up.
The Planning Behind a Photography Morning
When I do manage to get outside, it takes far more planning than it once did.
I think about the season, the weather, how busy a location might be and how much energy the journey is likely to require. Mornings usually work best because that is when my energy is at its highest. During holiday periods I deliberately avoid certain places because crowds often cost me more energy than they give back.
Sometimes I even plan a place to rest before driving home.
That may sound excessive to someone who is healthy, but for me that preparation often makes the difference between feeling completely drained or mentally recharged.
The Cost and the Reward
Photography now costs me more energy than it used to.
After a single morning outdoors, I am often exhausted for two days. That has become part of the reality.
Even so, the mental reward is often greater than the price I pay for it.
Being outside. Watching light, clouds, water and landscapes. Not thinking about diagnoses, appointments or limitations for a while, but simply photographing.
That feeling of freedom is difficult to explain, but it means a great deal to me.
What Photography Gives Me
I would like to say that photography solves all the difficult moments, but it does not.
The frustration, sadness and sense of loss that come with changing circumstances do not simply disappear.
What landscape photography does give me is something I struggle to find elsewhere: space in my mind.
Perhaps that is why I continue doing it. Not because photography makes everything better, but because it helps me navigate a life that has sometimes become smaller than I would like.
And that is exactly why every moment outdoors with a camera still feels special.
View more photos via the link, which, like this one, are part of my portfolio.